Question: I watch porn 2-3 times a day, and get off as well. Is that considered a porn addiction?
My usual caveat here, folks: I am not a Psychiatrist or Therapist. I am, however, a human being with very strong feelings about being exactly that…HUMAN. My opinions are not gospel, but if they provide a different perspective that helps you reduce or get rid of shame and guilt, then I’ve done my job.
Porn Addiction. Is that a thing? All the stuff out there on this, in my opinion, is just that – opinions. You want mine? Here it is…
I don’t care if you watch porn 763 times in an hour, or once a day. The ONLY question that should ever come up is whether or not it is negatively impacting your daily life – and I don’t mean some moral dilemma you’re having based on outside influences. I’m talking whether or not you are literally missing out on life because of it. Are you staying home from work just to watch porn? Are you skipping all social events just to stay home and watch porn? Have your expectations changed so much that you no longer find pleasure in non-porn activities? Has your view of your current sex life plummeted because of the unrealistic portrayal of sex in porn? Even if you answered yes to any of these – it just means that you need to reevaluate your porn-watching habits. It doesn’t mean you’re some sexual deviant who needs to be quarantined. And if that IS what it means, then you’ll have millions of other “deviants” right next to you in the cell (insert sarcasm and eye roll).
Do I think that porn contains chemicals that are addictive when ingested? Clearly not. Although, that would be pretty cool if you could actually ingest porn…but I digress. Do I believe that your brain enjoys the good vibes (pun intended) that it gets when watching porn? Absofreakinlutely. However, if you watching porn gets you horny, feeling good, into orgasm land, and no one is hurt in the process – WHY. THE. HELL. NOT?
You want to watch porn while peeing? Go for it. Doing the laundry? Then, too! While you’re on a conference call? Sure – live on the edge! (ok…maybe go easy on that one due to potential screen share accidents.)
So much of our guilt from watching porn is instilled in us via outside influences (religion, family, culture, etc.). However, if you remove all of that and take it for what it ACTUALLY is, it’s pretty straightforward. Porn can be exciting, stimulating, and for many, a NECESSARY component in orgasmic sessions. So, go ahead – keep rocking it. If you find it starts to negatively impact your life, take a step back and make some changes. Maybe it’s the type of porn you’re watching. Maybe it’s the types of bodies you’re getting used to seeing.
When I work with clients who openly enjoy porn but are having trouble separating it from reality, the first thing I tell them to do is to watch homemade porn for a while and see if that shifts. Additionally, I recommend (especially for those who have a vagina), to watch porn that you can actually connect with. If you typically orgasm by using a toy, then watch porn where the performers are using toys. If you have a curvier or softer body (all genders), then search for porn with similar body types. If you want to take a break for a little bit completely, then go ahead and take a break! It will be there when you return from your porn hiatus, so never fear.
So go easy on yourself, ok? Getting off 2-3 times a day is an amazing self-care routine and one that is both physically AND mentally healthy for you.