I’ve been invited to speak on the topic of “sexy being an attitude” more than once. I believe most of us have struggled (or are struggling) with this in life, because it’s hard to open our eyes in this country and NOT see a gazillion images of photoshopped, airbrushed, and filtered images. But, let’s take that out of the picture for a hot sec.
There are some “universal” traits that most humans look for, based on biology and evolution. Things like symmetrical facial structure, hip-to-waist ratio (child-rearing), strength (think hunting and protection), etc. Other than that, there is such a MASSIVE spectrum of what constitutes sexy, and it changes throughout time due to cultural norm shifts. Many of us seem to be “chasing sexy”. By that, I mean we see what the latest trend of beauty is, and then we chase after it. Here’s the problem though…that changes.
Trends change. Cultural norms change. WE, AS HUMANS, CHANGE. Remember when it was all about being thin? I do! I grew up in the 90’s, and that was the ONLY body type to have or you were somehow less attractive by default. Now we see how “thick thighs save lives”, men making TikToks about their love of the FUPA, the “Mom bod” movement, normalizing cellulite, Dad bods, etc. Depending on who you surround yourself with (real people, and social media culture), your body acceptance shifts. This is not rocket science. This is NEUROSCIENCE and SOCIAL SCIENCE. We compare by nature – and when we are surrounding ourselves with certain visuals and messaging, eventually your brain wants you to assimilate.
So, here are a few tips to get ya started on “leaning into sexy”:
1) DANCE NAKED. OFTEN. For no one but yourself. Put on sexy music (or Twerk radio, if you’re me), and just dance naked. At first, your head will mess with you and focus on all the parts you don’t like. So, imagine an audience who paid to see the EXACT type of body you have, and keep dancing.
2) UNFOLLOW accounts that don’t make you feel good. I follow body positive accounts on instagram, and if you want recommendations, just say the word.
3) MOVE. I don’t care if you go to the gym, work out at home, take walks, jump rope, work in the yard, or dance – just MOVE. There is a CHEMICAL reaction in your brain when you exercise. Again, this is not my opinion – this is science.
4) MASTURBATE. Yup, I said it. If you have barriers blocking you from doing so, and you’d like to work through them, reach out – I got you.
And that’s my show for the night. Thank you for attending.