One of the more intense traits of someone with an OCD brain, is that we can obsess about existential things until we’re left with a bizarre unanswered question. So, let’s take a trip on the Nina brain train for a hot sec…
We develop our identity based on our relationships and interactions with other people. We are literally shaped by those around us. It makes sense; we’re relational beings. It’s one of the reasons I am so passionate about relationship dynamics. They are critical in our personal growth and development. With that said, I’ve also noticed that the hate in this world comes from people not agreeing with others, and/or trying to “get” other people to think/look/behave the way we do. The deeper I thought about it, the clearer things got.
Under allllll of the poop slinging (and there’s a lot), is this engrained belief that different is bad. So, then I thought…well…is different actually bad? What I found during my mental masturbation over that question was this: Different is not bad; “bad” is subjective. However. different is one thing for sure…it’s uncomfortable. Why is it uncomfortable? First, if we aren’t 100% confident in our belief systems, or we are still internally conflicted – it’s easier to question ourselves (and who the hell wants to do that?). It feels unstable, unsafe, and scary.
Next, differences can cause anxiety and fear. Take politics for example (yup, I’m going there…but not for long – trust me). Underneath all of the arguing is a legitimate fear about how the decision maker of our country could impact us and those we love. Anxiety and fear are the root of MOST of our emotions, but we tend to express anger because it’s way more societally acceptable. This happens in relationships ALL. THE. TIME.
Last, being exposed to a different thought, idea, or opinion, can create an underlying mistrust of our past. When our foundation is challenged, we go to battle to protect it. It’s like hearing someone say something bad about your best friend that you don’t believe is true – so you immediately start counter arguing on their behalf. The ironic part about all of this, is that the coolest thing about human beings is that no two people are the same…literally!! Even identical twins will experience the world through different lenses.
So, spending our lives trying to fit everyone into a box that is palatable for our own minds, is an exercise in futility. And lord knows there are better things to do that actually make the world a BETTER place – like eating, sleeping, laughing, and masturbating.