definition of uncaged

If you’ve ever hated your body for what it looks like or how it feels, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you’ve ever suffered from intrusive thoughts and anxiety, you’ve experienced being caged.

If your brain works in ways that make it difficult to go through one day without wanting to escape your own mind, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship that you know you deserve to leave, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you’ve struggled with your sexuality in any way, shape, or form, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you suffer from the aftermath of trauma, you have experienced being caged.

If you have felt shame for merely existing in your truest form, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you’ve ever been trapped in a career that eats away at you, you’ve experienced being caged.

If you’ve ever suffered from addiction, you’ve experienced being caged.

The list goes on – and eventually, I would list something that you would most likely resonate with. Not because you’re “broken”, but because you’re human. Shockingly…we all are.

Being an “outlier” myself on many levels, I perfected the construction of my cage. The bars were strong, and only wide enough for people to see the parts of me that were “acceptable”. Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s a sense of safety in our cages – and I get that. But as life goes on, our bars get thicker, and the spaces more narrow. We’re given more reasons to hide as we’re surrounded by illusions that our culture is so damn good at creating. Eventually, there are no spaces between the bars. To the outside world, you’re showing slits of light at best. There’s this false feeling of belonging, as if the absence of judgement equals acceptance – but it doesn’t. Nobody can accept you when they can’t. even. see. YOU.

I’ve spent over THREE DECADES figuring out how to somehow deconstruct this Fort Knox worthy cage that I so meticulously erected (yes, I said ‘erected’ – it was getting a bit too serious, and we all know I can’t have that happening for too long.). Ironically, I figured out that I’m not supposed to deconstruct it. It served its purpose and, truthfully, Bob Vila would applaud the craftsmanship. I found out that all of that time in my proverbial ‘cage’ was allowing me to experience everything I had to in order to know how to find the KEY to unlock it.

It’s not about hating ourselves for what we’ve done (or haven’t done). It’s not about demolishing ANY experiences from our past. It’s about coming to the epiphanic moment of realization that the one who creates the cage, also creates the key. Yes…that means you.

My personality, my ‘brand’, my ridiculous posts, my candidness, my career choices, my often times risky sense of humor, my writing, my sex coaching, my openness about living with OCD, my vulnerability…all of it. It took me all that time in my cage to come up with the material to create the key that lead me to where I am today…Unfiltered. Imperfect. Unashamed…and UNCAGED.